I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
