I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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