You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
