The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
