Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
