Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
