I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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