fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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