I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
