If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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