He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
