I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The air was thick with penises
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
