My hand turned me down
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
