Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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