Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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