you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
