hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
