College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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