i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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