wrigley field is MILF paradise
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
