____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
