Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
