Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
