How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
