she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
