ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
