Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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