You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
