OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
