I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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