I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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