i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
