So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
