Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
