I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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