I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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