M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
