I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
