3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
