Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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