We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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