I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
