I cockslap morals
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i dont even know how to be here
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
