I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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