I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
