After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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