I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
