i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
