I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
