I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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